The Finalists

Now that the blind guy is gone, we have 7 contestants left on American Idol. If memory serves, it's Lil, that Redhead Chick, Pretty Boy, Timberlake, Gokey, Anoop-dog and the Glambert. Whatever will happen? Well, I had the opportunity to interview some of these contestants last night after the last elimination. Here are some bits:

ME: Hey guys!

ALL: Heeeeeey!!!

ME: So, walk me through a typical day at the "Idol Mansion".

ANOOP DOG: Well, first we wake up and drink Coca Cola for breakfast, it is so very refreshing.

REDHEAD CHICK: Agreed.

GLAMBERT: Then we all go for a ride in our Ford Focus.

LIL: It corners so well.

TIMBERLAKE: Definitely.

GOKEY: Sometimes we get in an impromptu water hose fight when we're washing the car!

LIL: While singing "Signed, Sealed, Delivered". Spontaneously.

PRETTY BOY: It's so funny when Allison wears a white shirt!

REDHEAD CHICK: What?

TIMBERLAKE: You know- like when we got into the water balloon fight while singing "Happy Together".

ANOOP DOG: Yeah, that was cool.

REDHEAD CHICK: Excuse me, I am 16.

PRETTY BOY: Jeez, relax. We're just saying you have nice jugs.

REDHEAD CHICK: Lil, help me out here.

LIL: They are nice.

GLAMBERT: So, anyway, about our typical day, after we drive around in the Ford we make calls on our AT&T phones. The we bathe in glitter and swirl in our rooms while listening to Ziggy Stardust over and over again.

TIMBERLAKE: Well, you do.

GLAMBERT: Sorry, yes I do.

PRETTY BOY: Then Seacrest comes into our rooms and tucks us in.

TIMBERLAKE: What?

PRETTY BOY: What, he doesn't tuck you in?

ANOOP DOG: Uh, no.

ME: So, who do you think will go next?

GOKEY: I think Anoop.

ANOOP DOG: True that. And I don't care- I just want to get in another water balloon fight with Allison.

TIMBERLAKE (high five's Anoop): Yeah, dog!!!

REDHEAD CHICK: I'm going to fucking kill you.

GOKEY: Whatevs- stop wearing white shirts.