New Message

According to a source on the internet, Osama Bin Laden had released another message. Here is the translation from Al Jazeera, the Arabic language news network, which was dropped off by a really tall, lanky guy pushing a dialysis machine and brandishing a resume.

Translation: "Hey guys, it's me again, the big OBL. So I was just thinking it's been a while since you heard from me so here I am. Still alive, still, hanging out. TOTALLY NOT DEAD YET. So, yeah. That's kind of about it so... everything's good. Feeling strong. Funny thing happenned- I went to my Dr. to get a physical and I told him, Doc, it hurts when I raise my hand above my head so my Doc says, 'Then stop doing it!' Hahhahhaa! It's actually an old joke. That did not really happen. Whoo. So... I know we are in a kind of a recession and I think you should know that I'm available for work. Just part time. But not office work, I couldn't deal with anything mundane like that. I'm not being too picky but as long as the hours are flexible, I get some benefits and the work is extremely evil, I'll be happy. Just something small- to make ends meet. It's tough out there!

So, yeah, that's really about all I have... oh, I also am calling for Somalia's new president to be overthrown. Ok, good- had to get that in there. Almost forgot! Well, yeah, I hope you are all miserable. Talk to you soon."