Tempy and the City

And now, an excerpt from one of our favorite columnists, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City!

"Heeeey guys, (neigh, whinny) okay, enough horse jokes. Maxim magazine called me the most Unsexiest Woman Alive. I think that's pretty messed up but you know what? I am richer than anyone who has ever worked at that magazine and all of their advertising companies combined, so make feedbag jokes all you want- mine is filled with diamonds and riches.

Okay, so let's gab.

I've often wondered about the role of the internet in relationships these days. Years ago all you had was the phone and you were lucky if your dad let you take a call from a boy. Some of you had dads, which made you even luckier.

But the point is, I was recently asked if Mr. Big and I had broken up because we weren't listed as "In A Relationship" on Facebook. Well, I hadn't really thought of it that way. I mean, Charlotte put down "Married" but that's because she's a little crazy, and probably thinks that unless it's there, it's not true. But then I got to thinking. What if it isn't? Is my relationship defined by my Facebook page? Do those people who do not have relationship status's do so because they are alone and miserable? And if that's the case, do you think there should be an option for alone and miserable? Do I ask more questions that Donald Rumsfeld at a press conference?

So I went onto Facebook to do a little research. I found that almost half the people who are in relationships boast about it, while the other half don't list anything, even though I know they are with someone. I also know people who aren't technically with someone but are afraid to look like they are alone. Like me, for example. So I added Mr. Big on as my partner and tagged him in a bunch of photos.

Well, the next day I noticed that Mr. Big hadn't approved my Relationship Request even though I KNOW he was online that day because he changed his Feed to : "Mr. Big is happy that he just bought a cigar." So I called him and went a little crazy. So he looked at me in that stern nanny way, sat me down and said, "Look. I love you. I want to be with you forever. But this Facebook thing is so not me, kid. I just joined because you made me."

Oh, man did that clear everything up. So, maybe you don't need an online Status Change to define your love. Maybe love is the one "Application" you just don't need to download because it's just there, like the Facebook Wall, or my own Walls I put up to keep the pain outside.

Anyway, see you later! Oh, and go see my movie! There's a great scene at Juniors in Brooklyn with this actress named Lynne. Bye!"