Better Than Tila?

Who watched the democratic debates last night? Obama tried to be tough, Biden was hilarious as always and Clinton's mouth looked like that on a ventriloquist's dummy.

In case you missed it, here's a quick recap:

Tim Russert (to Clinton): Let's start with you since you are the clear winner. Blah blah blah, Iran?

Clinton: Iran is a terrorist state and I give Bush whatever he wants but I am against war and Iraq was dumb.

Brian Williams: Does my head look lopsided to you?

Obama: I'm glad you asked that because it's time to talk tough. My campaign is about tough talking and Hillary Clinton rushed to war in Iraq.

Russert: Care to rebut that statement and take up some more well deserved air-time?

Clinton: Yes, thank you Tim. Let's be clear, my campaign is about children and jobs. In the face of terror, Iran will be watched closely, but I am adamant in my demands to tell George Bush that I strongly disagree with what I voted for when we talk about Iraq.

Obama: I am tough.

Williams: (To Kucinich) Is it because I am actually always tilting my head to the left or is it just the way I came out of the womb?

Kucinich: Okay, finally you ask me something. When I'm president, I will make all wars illegal, give healthcare to the entire country and assign mandatory unicorns to fly out of everyone's assholes and over cotton candy rainbows.

Russert: Clinton, a rebuttal?

Clinton: Yes, thanks again Tim. You look nice tonight.

Russert: So do you.

Clinton: That is all.

Obama: Now, look. We need to be honest with America. And I'm the guy to tough talk you through it.

Richardson: Saber rattling! Saber rattling!

Williams: It's a birth defect, you know.

Russert: Let's switch this conversation to Social Security.

Dodd: Oh, good. Boring topics are my strong point.

Obama: Hillary's a liar.

Biden: Everyone, shut up. Let's talk about Giuliani. Every word out of this mouth is a verb, a noun and 9/11 (true quote from last night). Let's talk about the real enemies.

Richardson: You're right. I will now go on for five minutes about how great Hillary is because I am hoping to be chosen as vice president.

Clinton: Gracias.

Russert: We'll be right back.

Williams: Luckily, it's my good side.