Spoiler Alert!

Uh oh, looks like Tempy got her hands on the entire PDF leak of the new Harry Potter book. If you don't want to know what happens, don't read any further. But if you're like me, you can't wait to see what happens to everyone's favorite little indestructible wizard.

1. Harry dies. But it's not as simple as you may think. Because he is so intertwined with He Who Shall Not Be Named, Harry decides to take his own life in order to ensure the demise of the Dark Lord. But just as he's about to kill himself with his own wand Hara-Kiri style, he trips and falls on his face and bleeds to death. It's a real anti-climactic way to die considering all he's been through really. That's the real tragedy. But before that...

2. Harry knocks Ginny Weasley up. Not much more to say there.

3. Hermione becomes the new Headmaster at Hogwarts, as everyone else in the chain of command has been vaporized.

4. Neville Longbottom takes over where Harry left off, and vows to kill the Dark Lord who was last seen celebrating Harry's Death at the nearest Enchanted Strip Club.

5. Ron Weasley is gay. Duh.

6. Draco Malfoy sires a bastard child with one of the Hufflepuff Girls, and is later sent to the prison Azkaban for refusing take a DNA test.

7. And finally, Hagrid falls in love with and marries one of his Mythical Creatures. We all knew that was going to happen.

Man. I can't wait for the movie.