And Now...

Horoscopes for today!!!

Aries - You will try to back out of a commitment with a friend, but the friend won't let you. Fruitcake.

Taurus - Although you might be tempted to pull your human owner's underpants out of the hamper, that would make you a bad dog. Plus, you will get a surprise walk today.

Gemini - You will soon need a Stella.

Cancer - Your lunch may have an unpleasant surprise.

Leo - This evening, you may find salt on your nipples.

Virgo - You will be boxing someone else's stuff up.

Libra - Look behind you!

Scorpio - Stop picking on Libra.

Sagittarius - Today you will win a game you did not know you were playing.

Capricorn - You may be lounging on your deck now, but a big meteorite is headed your way, so it is best to duck inside.

Aquarius - You like water.

Pisces - It's probably not possible for anyone to be as awesome as yourself. And your lunch will be free.