Baby Time!

I just found out that a two good friends of mine are about to give birth. Well, the woman is, the man is just watching. Either way, a baby will be born soon. And so, I have a little advice about some of the things they should expect. What make me an expert on babies you ask? I used to be one.

1. Newborn babies are slippery. My favorite story ever is when my Mom tells me of how the nurse almost dropped me as I slipped out of her hands when she slid into a pool of my placenta on the floor. Hahahahaha! Wouldn't that be funny if she hadn't caught me? Great story, Mom.

2. It is said that the process of birth is the most traumatizing thing any human will ever go through so be very sensitive to your baby's feelings in the first couple of days.

3. Never shake a baby.

4. Nunca Sacuda a Un Bebe.

5. Si Ves Algo, Di Algo!

6. Babies can be allergic to things, and so it's important to immunize them immediately. I prefer homemade and organic immunizations. I find that if you mix pine nuts with egg whites and give it to your baby as soon as he can open his mouth, you'll be guaranteed he will have no allergies.

7. Stock up on snacks. When you hire a babysitter (ahem) she may want to eat all of your food. And she should. Heck, it's sad enough that she's 31 and babysitting, let her eat whatever she wants.

8. Just a small shopping list:
Crib Bedding
Crib Sheets
Receving Blankets
Mattress Pads
Waterproof Liners
Baby Blankets
Nursing Pillows
Bumpers
Sleepers
Nursery Decor
Changing Tables
Dressers
Lighting
Baby Soap
No-Tears Shampoo
Baby Oil
Baby Powder
Ointment
Petroleum Jelly
Sterile Cotton Balls
Baby Nail Scissors
Baby Brush
Liquid Aspirin
Antibiotic Aspirin
Bottles
Nipple and Rings Bottle Cooler
Bottle Liners Bottle Brush
Bottle Rack
4 Bibs
3Teethers
Breast Pump
Breast Pads
Highchair
Nursing Pillow
Diaper Bag

We are so excited for you!