An Open Letter to the MTA

Dear MTA,

Hey, how's it going? You may know me from 32 years of loyal service. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you something- I don't know how I feel anymore about the "Let the passengers off the train before getting on" nonsense. Logistically it's rational- the people getting off first adds to the smooth flow of in-motion subway dynamics. There's even a physics theorem about it:

But lately the conductors have gotten a little trigger happy. Almost EVERY DAY I see people waiting patiently as the people are getting off, only to have the conductor slam the door on them as they try to board the train. The train's not crowded... there's plenty of room, but for some reason Triggerhappy McFuckwad always does this. I've seen one close a door on a father and his two year old daughter, like, ON them. And there's really no excuse as it's the conductor's job to look both ways to make sure everyone has boarded. The only reason to close the doors is if the train is overcrowded but I'm talking perfectly low capacity trains.

So in conclusion, MTA, I please reconsider your new policy. I don't mind paying a metric assload of money for your criminal monopoly but at least don't beat me up in the process.

That's what the IRS is for.

Love,

Tempy.