Flying High

I guess by now you've all heard about how Mitt Romney thinks airplane windows should open. I know, I know, it's late in the election, the guy's probably exhausted. But my favorite thing on Twitter after this debacle happened was the hashtag #RomneyPlaneFeatures that offered gems like "Screen doors - you know, like on my private sub" and "One Golden Parachute". Here's some more great ones (click on image to enlarge):

Meet Luthor

Please stop what you're doing and watch this if you haven't.

Whip It

Seeing this in real time last night was the most amazing thing ever. Watching it again this morning was even more precious. If you missed it, I present to you Mayor of San Antonio Julián Castro's 3 year old daughter during his speech at the DNC last night. It starts at the 22 second mark when she sees herself on the jumbo-tron, and, well, she just does what every girl has to do when they check themselves. I'll take this over Willow Smith's hair whipping every day of the week and twice on Sundays. 

Dirty Hippie

I went vegetarian again recently and it's just as easy as the first time I did it. When you live in New York, it's not that hard to cater to any kind of diet. Yesterday I ate at a place that notoriously serves meat, meat and more meat, and I still found something eggcellent on the menu (see what I did there? Lol YOLO!) The only time I had a problem recently was in the Denver airport when I was in a rush and just needed anything sandwich-related. I'm convinced the turkey industry has a hold on airport sandwich kiosks because my only options were turkey, turkey and swiss, or turkey and turkey.

The one thing that sucks is trying to explain to people who ask why I don't eat meat without sounding like a pretentious fuck. Most people I know eat meat, I don't care if my veggie burger touches a meat burger at a BBQ, and if someone orders a bacon burger I don't crinkle my nose and make mooing noises. I will bark, though. Pigs are smarter than dogs, so basically you're eating the smartest dog there is, like a Border Collie or any mutt. I'M JOKING. (But seriously, pigs are smarter than dogs. Even Honey Boo Boo Child's pig Glitzy had the wherewithal to find a way to get the hell off that show.)

Now don't get me wrong; if I was stuck in the woods for weeks on end you are damn well sure I'd figure out a way to kill an animal with my bare hands. Until then, I'm enjoying this change in diet. Don't worry - I draw the line at wearing patchouli.