Ask Me If We've Moved Yet
Go on. Ask me.
A day by day and often hourly account of a temp
We're moving in 20 minutes and the paint is still wet on the drywall that separates the carpet less floors that hold no furniture.
Okay, this story is crazy. A woman was arrested for being intoxicated and letting her 5 year old son drive.
I just found out I got a $50,000 life insurance policy. Now give me a good reason why you should be my beneficiary.
Yes, High Energy Woman. I am packed for the move that isn't going to happen tomorrow because our space still just consists of Sheetrock and men with plumbers crack.
Since there's no one in the office, my co-worker and I are listening to the Lite FM radio station. I'll let you know when I've had enough of Brian Adams, Gloria Gaynor and Alanis Morisette.
Okay, what's more pathetic? Is it
I just got into a fight with this guy at the office because he said he has liberal views but votes Republican because he doesn't like paying taxes. Actual excerpt:
So somehow I managed to catch the last episode of the reality show Scott Baio is 45 and Single where he has to choose between his long term girlfriend and single life. On the last episode when he finally proposed (by saying, "Yeah, I think I can marry you"), she revealed that she was pregnant the whole time. So shouldn't they have called the show, Should Scott Baio's Girlfriend Keep The Baby? Just a thought.
Yet another closeted politician who consistently votes against gay rights was arrested for illegal lewd sexual acts of the homosexual nature.
Miss Teen South Carolina was on the Today show to defend the answer to that question at the pageant. Watch as Matt Lauer thinks with his penis here.
I was on the platform this morning and when I get off the train I like to be in the front so sometimes that means braving the skinny-edge platform. Anyway, I see that I have the whole skinny edge platform to myself, or so I thought, because when I walked past the smirking woman I realized the reason no one was there was because there was a huge rat.
Since we are moving to a different floor, I have decided to make myself the official Recycling Coordinator of the office to make sure everyone is doing their part. Plus I am bored.
According to a website about recycling, here are a few "qualities" I am supposed to have. Big whoop-dee-do seeing as how I nominated, voted and swore-in myself. Anyway, they suggest someone who is:
- Enthusiastic about recycling and/or the environment
- Well organized
- A good communicator amongst departments, management, and company service providers
- Familiar with the implementation and maintenance of a program
- Involved or has background with the company's waste haulers, janitorial staff or contracts
- Able to evaluate the effectiveness of the program
- An educator
In trying to find a way to describe shamed ex-attorney general Alberto Gonzales for this blog entry, I began to think in depth about curse words. I mean, the majority of them stem from "shameful" body parts or sex acts. Take such insults as "asshole","dick" and "douchebag"- all related to bodily activity. You wouldn't call someone an "earwax" or "goosebump" so therefore the "curse" of it comes from the dirty connotation it carries.
I thought Canadians were supposed to be funny. Some of the best comedians hail from Canada. Oh, well, there's always an exception to the rule.
This morning I'm on the train when this girl lifts her purse to find she spilled a bottle of Poland Spring in her bag! Oh, no!
Maybe it's that it's 25 degrees in here or I just want some comfort food but my fried chicken and mashed potatoes can't get here fast enough.
Parents of a child in a new reality show called Kid Nation are angry at the network for putting their child in a dangerous situation. You see, the premise of this show is to have forty kids aged 8-15 live "alone" in a secluded
Maybe it's just me but I don't really feel the need to start packing completely for a move two floors down when a. the space isn't even done being built, b. there are no file cabinets to transfer things to and c. as I learned from college, there's no room or area that I cannot pack in one day. So yeah, I'm slacking, but it looks like I'm not the only one as no one has packed anything save for the High Energy Lady. I swear, I have done so much for her in the last five precious minutes when I could have been sipping my coffee and reading TMZ. She's like the Tasmanian Devil when it comes to an entrance.
It is so cold in my office I had to borrow a co-workers sweatshirt.
Um, this is one side of a conversation that is currently going on with the Girl Next To Me and some guy on the phone.
Sure, I'll start packing my stuff for our move to the other floor. Just as soon as I'm done making my own online superhero.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes talk about why they sleep in separate bedrooms.
At least watch until Britney says, "They look like boobs. But they're not. They're my knees."
Hey guys! Due to a last minute clean up of the floor we are moving to, here is a list of what I am leaving with today:
Amongst all the ridiculous news of today, including Bill Murray being pulled over in Sweden for drunk driving in a golf cart at 3 AM or Pete Doherty's cats testing positive for cocaine, I found this one to be priceless.
According to a local paper in Belgium, there was a Britney Spears sighting.
Have you ever simultaneously made labels while taking a lunch order, at the same time emailing co-workers about an important subject and maintaining an online chat conversation all at once while cruising TMZ?
The Girl Next To Me just came back from Israel today. She flew in at 5:30 am and came to work.
I now present to you the first ever Tempy Name Generator! Now you too can see what your office/stay at home name is according to Tempy.
If you want to cry tears of joy click here. Make sure the volume is on. It's a short news story about a guy who rescues his dog after it was buried alive in a storm drain for four days.
This is the most awesomest story from New Jersey: A crew of ladies in bikinis held up signs that advertised $5 topless car washes. When the cars were led down the road where they were to be washed, they were met by a group of topless firefighters who proceeded to wash their cars. In a related story, I'll be driving to New Jersey today.
I finally broke down and Simpsonized myself.
A wise man on a Christian inspirational website once said:
Okay, I'm pissed. This is just nuts. It's raining in the North Pole today. Raining.
Eleven extras were injured on the set of Tom Cruise's new film about Hitler.
Growing up, my mother was allergic to everything so the only pet I was allowed to have was a hamster. My first hamster was named Howie and he lived for an ungodly amount of time. He was more like a dog than a hamster because we'd play every after school and he'd even take naps with me. The only time he ever ran away, it was simply to nest in a toy garage set in my room. I found him the night he disappeared and he looked at me like, "What? I'm taking a vacation." He had even gone so far as to pack a heaping amount of food and nesting material in his cheeks for the long journey because he had actually made himself a little bed in the corner parking space.
Whoa. You know it's not a normal day when two fully grown adults run at top speed around a corner towards a Bloomberg and peer at it anxiously. You'd think the market was crashing or something!
Last night I stopped by my upstairs neighbor's place to chat about something. The next thing you know her buzzer rings and she lets whoever in. Thinking it's somebody she knew or a delivery person, I let her continue on with her detailed retelling, as we stood in the stairwell, of how exactly she got a bruise from hot sex with her boyfriend when we feel sets of eyes on us. Two very frightened Jehovah's witnesses were looking up at us from the landing. Well, they gotta learn someday.
I think the Post Office has a general rule about how long the lines have to be at all times. If it's too short, they send someone on break. I only know this because when I just went to one of the big post offices here that has 25 windows, two were open. I took a cell phone picture of the line which apparently stretched all the way to New Jersey.
On CNN.com today:
Today at my train station:
Know what this is?
This panda gave birth to twins this week. But for ten years, everyone thought she was a he. Or at least a totally gay panda that liked to play with dolls and cried when the other pandas destroyed the bamboo pot holder s/he so carefully crafted.
A Broadway musical based on American Idol, aptly called "Idol: The Musical!" was closed after one performance. According to the producer, the show closed "due to a lack of advance ticket sales, a lack of positive feedback from audience members and critics and a lack of sustainable financial resources."
The new guy starts today and no one cares as much as High Energy Woman does, including him. Seriously, I know all he wants to ask is where the coffee is. Maybe I should tell him. Or... maybe I can read TMZ and nurse my achy back.
I've got a shiny new fax/copy machine for the first person who gets over here and gives me a backrub.
Awww. Look at that happy girl!
Guy Who Works For The Other Office: Where's (Girl Who Sits Next To Me Who's On Vacation)?
So I'm watching my neighbor's cat while she's away, and by "watch" I mean "see if she has enough food, pat her on the head and leave before my allergies start acting up". No, I'm sorry, there are some cats I am not allergic to at all and some that if I even think about them my eyes swell shut. This is one of them.
Hate talking to machines when you call your bank, credit card company or pharmacy? Thanks to the website gethuman.com, you now have a comprehensive list of how to deal with each company. I was blessed with this gift years ago and I am sharing it on to you, my fellow admins.
Napoleon is one of the first dogs I've seen on DailyPuppy that hails from Brooklyn.