Ask Me If We've Moved Yet

Go on. Ask me.

Move It

We're moving in 20 minutes and the paint is still wet on the drywall that separates the carpet less floors that hold no furniture.

Buck Buck

Anyone want a "Nature Sounds" alarm clock?

And I Still Can't Drive

Okay, this story is crazy. A woman was arrested for being intoxicated and letting her 5 year old son drive.

A neighbor who witnessed the event said, "It was just bizarre. I asked, 'Is this toddler driving your car?' She said, 'He's a good driver.'" According to the article, "Officers said that the driving child told them he was having a hard time because he couldn't reach the pedals."

I'm Feeling Fine, Thanks

I just found out I got a $50,000 life insurance policy. Now give me a good reason why you should be my beneficiary.

Holy Cow

I just ate the best f@#king burger of my life.

Then again, it was $16.

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Yes, High Energy Woman. I am packed for the move that isn't going to happen tomorrow because our space still just consists of Sheetrock and men with plumbers crack.

When you overhear construction workers in the elevator saying "That crazy bitch thinks we'll be done by Friday?" you know you are in trouble.

Either way, I am packed.

It's Lite

Since there's no one in the office, my co-worker and I are listening to the Lite FM radio station. I'll let you know when I've had enough of Brian Adams, Gloria Gaynor and Alanis Morisette.

But just so you know, I want to know what love is. And yes, I want you to show me.

Hurts

If there is a God, why did He invent paper cuts?

Have You Heard?

What's Worse

Okay, what's more pathetic? Is it

a. that I went to Commerce Bank to exchange my coins for cash (to be fair it's near my office and I was bored)
b. that I guessed within $1.99 what the total would be so I won a prize
c. that I even bothered to guess
d. that when I got to the teller I actually pointed to my receipt and said, "Um, I'm a winner."
e. that the woman next to me asked, "How did you win?"
f. that I chose the kite over the coloring book

Award

Award goes to Leona Helmsley who left her dog 12 million dollars and two of her grandkids nothing.

Wow, that's great. I know what my dog would do with 12 million dollars- he'd probably chew it up and poop it out.

Keep the change, Leona.

Pray For Me

I am about to attempt to fix my boss's iPod Nano.

Don't Mess With Me

I just got into a fight with this guy at the office because he said he has liberal views but votes Republican because he doesn't like paying taxes. Actual excerpt:

Guy: "So let's say you have a great year and get a $250,000 bonus. And the government takes out 70% of your hard earned money. How would you..."

Me: "Hard earned money? You call that ridiculous $250,000 bonus hard earned money you fucktard?"

So now he calls me a communist. Is that still an insult?

What's Season Two?

So somehow I managed to catch the last episode of the reality show Scott Baio is 45 and Single where he has to choose between his long term girlfriend and single life. On the last episode when he finally proposed (by saying, "Yeah, I think I can marry you"), she revealed that she was pregnant the whole time. So shouldn't they have called the show, Should Scott Baio's Girlfriend Keep The Baby? Just a thought.

Stalling

Yet another closeted politician who consistently votes against gay rights was arrested for illegal lewd sexual acts of the homosexual nature.

Republican senator Larry Craig of Idaho was arrested at the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport for attempting to elicit sex from an undercover cop in a bathroom. According to the cop, the senator, from the stall, tapped his right foot, "a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct," the cop wrote, and then Craig "ran his left hand several times underneath the partition dividing the stalls."

Wait... right foot and left hand? Now I know what I've been doing wrong! So weird that every time I try to elicit sex from the bathroom someone invariably hands me toilet paper.

She's Still Dumb

Miss Teen South Carolina was on the Today show to defend the answer to that question at the pageant. Watch as Matt Lauer thinks with his penis here.

Rat. Big Friggin Rat.

I was on the platform this morning and when I get off the train I like to be in the front so sometimes that means braving the skinny-edge platform. Anyway, I see that I have the whole skinny edge platform to myself, or so I thought, because when I walked past the smirking woman I realized the reason no one was there was because there was a huge rat.

In case you don't know what I'm talking about, here's a visual:

So began my favorite New York game: "We know something the next person approaching doesn't know". We watched gleefully as person after person started down the platform and then abruptly turned back. The best part was when a gruff looking MTA worker walked determinedly towards the end of the platform and we thought she was going to deal with the rat, only to find that she indeed was also surprised by it, thus cursing loudly and running away.

Finally the transit cop turns around and asks what's going on. What's he going to do, shoot it? Luckily when our train came and the rat did not board. But seriously, it was a big rat.

The Job Is Only Thankless If You Hate The Earth

Since we are moving to a different floor, I have decided to make myself the official Recycling Coordinator of the office to make sure everyone is doing their part. Plus I am bored.

According to a website about recycling, here are a few "qualities" I am supposed to have. Big whoop-dee-do seeing as how I nominated, voted and swore-in myself. Anyway, they suggest someone who is:

- Enthusiastic about recycling and/or the environment
- Well organized
- A good communicator amongst departments, management, and company service providers
- Familiar with the implementation and maintenance of a program
- Involved or has background with the company's waste haulers, janitorial staff or contracts
- Able to evaluate the effectiveness of the program
- An educator

Clearly I am most of those things. The rest of it I can make up for in charm.

Now all I have to do is work out the messy little detail of announcing to everyone that they have to answer me. When recycling, of course.

Information

A lot of you have made comments about how I always post pictures of dogs. Well, maybe this rare picture of me at work will explain a few things:


All kidding aside, do you think that dog plotting the many ways he can chew his owner's hand off for making him pose for this? I do.

Stop What You Are Doing Right Now And Watch This

You can't fix stupid:

Cursed

In trying to find a way to describe shamed ex-attorney general Alberto Gonzales for this blog entry, I began to think in depth about curse words. I mean, the majority of them stem from "shameful" body parts or sex acts. Take such insults as "asshole","dick" and "douchebag"- all related to bodily activity. You wouldn't call someone an "earwax" or "goosebump" so therefore the "curse" of it comes from the dirty connotation it carries.

Wikipedia defines profanity as "a word, expression, gesture, or other social behavior which is socially constructed or interpreted as insulting, rude or vulgar." But what's up with the body parts?

Now, I love a good curse word. When used correctly, the term "gash" can be the cause of much amusement. But I can just imagine the genesis of this, like some naughty, giggling group of 15th century nobles jokingly referring to someone as "that place where the poopie comes from". Even Shakespeare had a clever, intellectually veiled chortle by making a reference to "country matters" in Hamlet. (Get it? Cunt).

Which brings me back to this: Aren't we beyond the "naughty parts" humor? We lived through the 70's, people. Steven and Elyse Keaton made out in front of everyone enough on Family Ties that we get it. People have sex.

For better or worse, these are the words that are in our lexicon. And as much as I don't agree with calling someone a boob, I guess it's just the way it is.

Dick.

Stereotype

I thought Canadians were supposed to be funny. Some of the best comedians hail from Canada. Oh, well, there's always an exception to the rule.


"Oh, hey Josie, I'm a gonna dress up the cat as an armed jailbird with a bunch of 20's on him, eh? Cuz then it'll make him look like he's a just robbed a bank there, eh?"

On It Like White On Rice

This morning I'm on the train when this girl lifts her purse to find she spilled a bottle of Poland Spring in her bag! Oh, no!

She holds up a soaking wet Treo and sighs. So the woman across from her goes, "Put it in a box of rice. It'll soak it right up."

Um...

At this point everyone on the train is intrigued. Lo and behold I look it up- and the box of rice idea is actually there on the internets. But note that the method listed above it is called the... oh, I don't know... what's that? Oh, right. The old "dry your cell phone off with a paper towel" trick. Novel concept, I'm going with the rice. Heck, it works for sweeping up vomit. No wait, that's sawdust.

It Was Cute Until...

My dog did this this morning- rubbing his nose with his paw as to remove something or scratch an itch...


...and then an eye booger fell off his face and onto the pillow and he ate it.

Ugggghhhh

Okay now I feel sick.

Mmmmmmm

Maybe it's that it's 25 degrees in here or I just want some comfort food but my fried chicken and mashed potatoes can't get here fast enough.

Did I mention there was cornbread involved?

Kid Nation

Parents of a child in a new reality show called Kid Nation are angry at the network for putting their child in a dangerous situation. You see, the premise of this show is to have forty kids aged 8-15 live "alone" in a secluded movie set town, and create a functioning way of life and government.

Janis Miles of Fayetteville, Georgia, said in a letter that her 12-year-old daughter, Divad Miles, was spattered on her face with grease while cooking potatoes on a wood stove, and that four other children required medical attention after they accidentally drank bleach.

Okay, let me get this straight- you'll leave your child alone in a strange town with children she doesn't know and 100 random adults with cameras and you get pissed because the little idiot sprays grease on her face and washes it down with bleach? What kind of operation are you running at home anyway? I'm sorry but if your kid can't "make it in the wild" maybe it's because you're raising a domesticated urban child and not some feral lab rat for prime time entertainment. That's what the Real World is for.

I don't know about you but I'm so watching Kid Nation.

Hmmmmm...

I'm having a hard time deciding what to wear tonight. Waiiit a minute...

Movers, Not Shakers!

Maybe it's just me but I don't really feel the need to start packing completely for a move two floors down when a. the space isn't even done being built, b. there are no file cabinets to transfer things to and c. as I learned from college, there's no room or area that I cannot pack in one day. So yeah, I'm slacking, but it looks like I'm not the only one as no one has packed anything save for the High Energy Lady. I swear, I have done so much for her in the last five precious minutes when I could have been sipping my coffee and reading TMZ. She's like the Tasmanian Devil when it comes to an entrance.

My co-workers are astounded that I am so relaxed around her. I'm a walking ad for Paxil right now. Maybe it's just that I'm really good with crazy people. Or maybe it's that I just don't really care.

All I'm thinking about is the sweet lunch I'm ordering today.

No Way!!!

*ring ring*

Me: "Hello, [company name]"

Girl On Phone: "Hello, is this [Tempy]?"

Me: "Yeah."

GOF: "Omigod! My name is ----- from CNBC! How are you?!"

Me: "Uhhh..."

GOF: "Since your boss and I will be working together I just wanted to introduce myself! How are you?"

Me: "F...fine?"

GOF: "Great!!!"

Me: "Great!"

GOF: "So nice to finally meet you!"

Me: "You too..."

GOF: "So, have a great weekend! Byee!"

*click*

Lesson

This is where fireplace rugs come from:

Climate Change

It is so cold in my office I had to borrow a co-workers sweatshirt.

I even had "the guy" here earlier today to turn the a/c down. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

And That's How Mommy And Daddy Met

The Girl Next To Me has a date with that guy from the phone.

Poli-Sexy

I know several women whose lives were complete last night because of this magical meeting of the minds/unassuming sex symbols:

Overheard

Um, this is one side of a conversation that is currently going on with the Girl Next To Me and some guy on the phone.

GNTM: "No way. No, seriously, I was there too! I had a great time, it's such a beautiful country. Me? Oh, um, I'm from Long Island. You? No Way! Oh, I totally know that school! Okay. Ooooh, sounds cool. Really? Oh, well this is interesting. Let me look you up on Facebook. Wow, you are handsome! Ha ha! Now I know what you look like and you don't know what I look like! You are so tan. Who's that chick? Oh, good. No, it's just that she' like, all over you. Well, I guess it's only fair to send you a picture of me. Okay. What's your IM? Isn't it funny how way back in the day it was like, what's your number and now it's like, what is your IM screen name?"

This conversation has been going on for ten minutes now.

Okay, she just said, "You are making my day go by so much faster..."

OK...

Sure, I'll start packing my stuff for our move to the other floor. Just as soon as I'm done making my own online superhero.

Kittycaine

Last known photo of Pete Doherty's cat before it was taken away:

I Rest My Case

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes talk about why they sleep in separate bedrooms.

(Hint: It might have to do with the fact that their marriage is a sham.)

Blast From The Past

At least watch until Britney says, "They look like boobs. But they're not. They're my knees."

Just Like Cosco

Hey guys! Due to a last minute clean up of the floor we are moving to, here is a list of what I am leaving with today:

6 rolls of toilet paper
3 rolls of paper towels
120 pack of kitchen bags

What I am not leaving with:

My pride

Blame Canada

Amongst all the ridiculous news of today, including Bill Murray being pulled over in Sweden for drunk driving in a golf cart at 3 AM or Pete Doherty's cats testing positive for cocaine, I found this one to be priceless.

MurderCap Records is suing Canada for unfair treatment at the border of rap artists. The list of those who are subpoenaed includes Condi Rice, Oprah Winfrey, Paris Hilton, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Snoop Dogg, DMX, Diddy, Jenna Jameson, Jay Z, 50 Cent, Eminem, Kobe Bryant, Spike Lee, Tom Sizemore, Martha Stewart and Heidi Fleiss.

Britney Spears Deed Maandagavond Een Plasje Op Het Toilet!

According to a local paper in Belgium, there was a Britney Spears sighting.

Here is the actual translation of the original article, thanks to FreeTranslation.com:

"Britney Spears did monday evening a puddle on the toilet of taverne Erasmus at the Berchemlei. That maintain came the waiters of the taverne. "She with two large Mercedessen, had three bodyguards with self and carried a sunglasses", says waiter Ronald Busschots." We are there certain of: the wás Britney."

"It must between six and sift hour have been been", tells Ronald." For the door of the taverne stopped two large Mercedessen 500. That are not see had of that large bins, that you all days. Moreover they a license plate with VIP017 and VIP018 on. From the cars, three men and a woman walked. The woman came in, with one of the men. 'Where is the toilet', asked the man in the English with an American accent. I ups and downs him the way and the woman went the toilet in. The man wanted to stand for the door of the wc."

That found Ronald asked surely strangely. "I him in the Dutch or he what had to drink, but he understood not me. 'Sorry', asked he. 'Thu you for to drink something', asked I then." Ronald know it certainly: the men was a bodyguard." For he had an ear in", says he. "Only he wanted nothing drink. 'It’s a matter or emergency', laid he from. An emergency, thus. When the woman the toilet came again out. She smiled to me and said 'thank you'". On that moment recognized Ronald her. "It was Britney Spears!"

Multitasking

Have you ever simultaneously made labels while taking a lunch order, at the same time emailing co-workers about an important subject and maintaining an online chat conversation all at once while cruising TMZ?

Guess who just did?

(this gal)

So Awesome

My money is on the tan dog. Wait... what do you mean I can't place bets? Oh...

This Just In

/politics

The Man Attempts to Keep Tempy Down NEW YORK, NY (AP) -- A temporary employee known to her beloved fans as “Tempy” was temporarily kept down Wednesday morning by The Man, causing mild panic among her readers.

Attorneys for The Man claimed in a written statement that the delays to the popular website, feelingtempy.blogspot.com, were a result of a “server error” and not at all of a “keep down” as some may have suggested.

Calls to The Man were not immediately returned.

Suggestion

Before I get on the train today people, here's an idea that may make the trip up the stairs smoother:

The Return

The Girl Next To Me just came back from Israel today. She flew in at 5:30 am and came to work.

Actual quote from her now on the phone to her grandmother, "I've never been around so many Jewish people at once."

OK Fine

F@#king name generator. It works for me, I swear.

In the meantime, here is a picture of two rescue greyhounds who are currently wondering if the racetrack had better conditions.

New Game!!! (Now Working)

I now present to you the first ever Tempy Name Generator! Now you too can see what your office/stay at home name is according to Tempy.

Thanks, Patientboy. It should be working now.

My Dawg

If you want to cry tears of joy click here. Make sure the volume is on. It's a short news story about a guy who rescues his dog after it was buried alive in a storm drain for four days.

Clean

This is the most awesomest story from New Jersey: A crew of ladies in bikinis held up signs that advertised $5 topless car washes. When the cars were led down the road where they were to be washed, they were met by a group of topless firefighters who proceeded to wash their cars. In a related story, I'll be driving to New Jersey today.

Pretty Accurate

I finally broke down and Simpsonized myself.

Gossip!

Cameron Diaz and John Mayer are heating up! What will the tabloids will call them?

Jameron?

Hot

A wise man on a Christian inspirational website once said:

"A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for."
- John Shedd

Uh oh.


Did anyone actually see this movie? It's an hour and a half of build up towards this pivotal computer engineered scene. But give me Clooney and Walhberg soaking wet and hugging each other goodbye and you've got my $9.50.

Where was I? I don't know. So, speaking of porn for women:

Drinks?

I said olives!

Environment

Okay, I'm pissed. This is just nuts. It's raining in the North Pole today. Raining.


Not only are the polar bears starving and drowning, but as water levels rise, this affects all of us. For further information and a bi-weekly reason to shit yourself, check out the weather report from the North Pole updated every 14 days: Emotional Diuretic.

Eastern Central Casting

Eleven extras were injured on the set of Tom Cruise's new film about Hitler.

According to a police spokesman, "We have no findings to suggest anyone famous was involved in the accident."

Oh, good. Because the last thing we'd want is to lose a famous person. A measly extra working the background job because their dreams of an acting career are continually quashed in a business where cash, sex and connections perpetually keep real talent down isn't really worth as much as a "famous" person. We can afford to lose or seriously injure eleven human beings all in a day's work. Hey, it's kind of like when the stunt pilot died during the infamous inverted flat spin in Top Gun, coincidentally another Tom Cruise movie.

Hmmm...

In other news, I will be flying to Germany for some sweet extra work.

Oh And

I went shopping today.

A Story

Growing up, my mother was allergic to everything so the only pet I was allowed to have was a hamster. My first hamster was named Howie and he lived for an ungodly amount of time. He was more like a dog than a hamster because we'd play every after school and he'd even take naps with me. The only time he ever ran away, it was simply to nest in a toy garage set in my room. I found him the night he disappeared and he looked at me like, "What? I'm taking a vacation." He had even gone so far as to pack a heaping amount of food and nesting material in his cheeks for the long journey because he had actually made himself a little bed in the corner parking space.

Regardless, Howie lived a long, full life. I'd like to say he died from natural causes, but the truth is, he made some bad acquaintances during his little adventure. Word is he got into it with a rogue gang that hid out in the radiator shafts of the building, a bunch of shiftless neer-do-wells who went by the gang name of "The Wheelies". Anyhoo, I found him one fateful morning dead. He was shot multiple times. 'Till this day, I authorities have been on the lookout for this guy- Bandito "The Cheekstuffer" Smith:


If I ever see that rat-bastard I know what I'll say.

"Hello. My name is Tempy. You killed my hamster. Prepare to die."

Okay half of that story is true. I just won't tell you which half...

Work

Just so you know...

Crash It Out

Whoa. You know it's not a normal day when two fully grown adults run at top speed around a corner towards a Bloomberg and peer at it anxiously. You'd think the market was crashing or something!

Wait...

Quizzical

I'm not normally a big fan of Chihuahua's but this dog is so cute:

Can I Get A Witness?

Last night I stopped by my upstairs neighbor's place to chat about something. The next thing you know her buzzer rings and she lets whoever in. Thinking it's somebody she knew or a delivery person, I let her continue on with her detailed retelling, as we stood in the stairwell, of how exactly she got a bruise from hot sex with her boyfriend when we feel sets of eyes on us. Two very frightened Jehovah's witnesses were looking up at us from the landing. Well, they gotta learn someday.

Stamp It, Ship It, Rub It Down

I think the Post Office has a general rule about how long the lines have to be at all times. If it's too short, they send someone on break. I only know this because when I just went to one of the big post offices here that has 25 windows, two were open. I took a cell phone picture of the line which apparently stretched all the way to New Jersey.

No

Thank you, L-Rose. I'm going to hell for this.

And % Means Butterfly

On CNN.com today:

Couple Tries To Name Child @

According to them, @ is the Chinese symbol for "Love Him".

Zip It

Today at my train station:

Zip Car Rep Handing Out Flyers: "Want information about a Zip Car?"

Me: "Actually, I can't drive."

ZCRHOF: "I'll teach you."

Me: "(interested) Really?"

ZCRHOF: "(awkwardly long pause) No."

Cuddle Party

Know what this is?


It's a cuddle party. I saw this on Scott Baio is 45 and Single. Shut up. Basically adults get together in their PJ's and non-sexually cuddle. By definition, a cuddle party is: "a boundary-appropriate workshop and social event for exploring touch, affection and communication." Or as I like to call it, a "heaping load of cowpoopie". I mean, seriously, tell me the men who frequent these things aren't there to say they've at least touched a girl. And the girls all are like, "If my husband won't cuddle with me after sex, I'll just get what I need here". I guess there are very strict rules like, wear your clothes at all times and don't put your d#@k in someone's mouth. Either way, I don't think I'll be going to one in the near future. Unless Scott Baio shows up.

Pandemonium

This panda gave birth to twins this week. But for ten years, everyone thought she was a he. Or at least a totally gay panda that liked to play with dolls and cried when the other pandas destroyed the bamboo pot holder s/he so carefully crafted.


It was only until she was set to mate with another female panda that it was revealed she was a girl. Strangely enough not only did the two not mate, but they took turns mending their flannel softball uniforms while listening to Melissa Etheredge. Anyhoo, the reason everyone thought she was a male is because "The penis of an adult panda is only about 3 centimeters (1.2 inches) long," says Li Deshen, a panda expert.

Uhhhh.....

Lunch

My Massaman Curry just doesn't taste right...

Awesome

I love this guy:

If I May Be Honest

A Broadway musical based on American Idol, aptly called "Idol: The Musical!" was closed after one performance. According to the producer, the show closed "due to a lack of advance ticket sales, a lack of positive feedback from audience members and critics and a lack of sustainable financial resources."

Ie the show sucked. But that brings me to another topic- can we stop making shows that have "The Musical!" in its title? So far we have:

Urinetown: The Musical (the first and best)
Silence! Silence of the Lambs: The Musical!
Musical! The Musical
Cannibal! The Musical
Menopause: The Musical
Gutenberg! The Musical!
Evil Dead: The Musical

And my personal favorite and cause of a major outrage:
Jihad: The Musical

If that's not enough, in this year's New York International Fringe Festival alone we have:

Cancer! The Musical!
Williamsburg! The Musical
Thunder! A Musical Memoir
Show Choir! The Musical
Farmer Song: The Musical

Oy. It's enough to make my head hurt: The Musical.

First Day

The new guy starts today and no one cares as much as High Energy Woman does, including him. Seriously, I know all he wants to ask is where the coffee is. Maybe I should tell him. Or... maybe I can read TMZ and nurse my achy back.

I stole the Girl Next To Me's Aeron chair because she is on vacation.

Oh, and the kitty upstairs tore apart her litter bag and shredded the carpet by the door.

Need Some Help

I've got a shiny new fax/copy machine for the first person who gets over here and gives me a backrub.

Magnetic

Awww. Look at that happy girl!


"Hey Scruffy!"

*ruff!*

"Scruffy, do you know what this is?"

*rrrowr?*

"It's a toy pooper scooper. Look, I'm scooping your plastic poop into this trash can I can open with my foot."

*ruff!*

"That's right, Scruffy. This comes with little tiny plastic turds that can easily lodge in a child's throat. Luckily the paint is made of lead so the inevitable death will be quick and painless. That is if the loose magnets don't get to the kids first. I love picking up poop!"

*rrruff!"*

Dilemma

I don't know what to eat for lunch.

And The Subway Is $2

Guy Who Works For The Other Office: Where's (Girl Who Sits Next To Me Who's On Vacation)?

Me: She's on Vacation.

GWWFTOO: Oh... Do you know where she keeps the stamps?

Me: No.

GWWFTOO: Oh. (Awkwardly stands around).

Me: Would you like me to give you one of our stamps?

GWWFTOO: Oh, geez thanks! That'd be great.

Me: Here you go.

GWWFTOO: Oh, 41 cents now?

I mean, really.

Don't Let The Cat In The Bag

So I'm watching my neighbor's cat while she's away, and by "watch" I mean "see if she has enough food, pat her on the head and leave before my allergies start acting up". No, I'm sorry, there are some cats I am not allergic to at all and some that if I even think about them my eyes swell shut. This is one of them.

She's been on a hunger strike for a few days because every time I go in there she hasn't touched her wet food which is great for the ever-growing mass of fruit flies, and her dry food is barely nibbled at. A few days ago I did away with the wet food for general environmental health purposes and gave her a big, heaping bowl of dry food. So it seemed perfectly fine for me to skip a day because I had a busy weekend. Boy, was that a bad idea.

I go in last night after I came home to find that not only is the hunger strike over but the binging is in. That little bitch had eaten an entire bowl of dry food and when that didn't satiate her hunger she knocked the whole bag of dry food off the table and it was clear it had been played with/dragged around/possibly slept in. And in the middle of it all was one pissed kitty. Well I learned my lesson. I gave her wet food, patted her on the head a little longer than usual and left. Let's hope that today she'll feel better. I'm just not looking forward to having to clean out the kitty litter.

Wind Beneath My Wings

What happens when you put a puppy in a wind tunnel?


I just wanted an excuse to post this picture.

Representative

Hate talking to machines when you call your bank, credit card company or pharmacy? Thanks to the website gethuman.com, you now have a comprehensive list of how to deal with each company. I was blessed with this gift years ago and I am sharing it on to you, my fellow admins.

Challenge

I wonder if there is a non-sexual comment to go along with this picture.

Karl Rove Quit

Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit Karl Rove quit

That would have been so much easier if we all still used BASIC programming. Remember that?

10 Print "Hello"
20 Goto 10

Am I the only one who learned that in 5th grade because it was "the new technological wave of the future" and in 20 years we would be using BASIC while our robot maids cleaned the screens of our Commodore 64's? Anyone?

Napoleon

Napoleon is one of the first dogs I've seen on DailyPuppy that hails from Brooklyn.


He also lives in constant fear of being adopted by Britney Spears.

Tempalicious

I've been gone over a week and no one has touched my Special K cereal. Awesome.

Yup, I'm back and I'm rearing to do the 500 things left here for me. But first, breakfast and TMZ. Priorities, people.