An Open Letter To The Guy In College I Used To Fool Around With My Senior Year (not the gay one)
Dear Guy In College I Used To Fool Around With My Senior Year (not the gay one),
I think the last time I saw you after I let you crash at my place so you could find an apt. in New York was eight years ago. Wow, how time flies. Eight years. A lot has happened! And I know you feel badly we lost touch because I've heard through the grapevine that you remember I was always so nice to you. That's how I roll, GICIUTFAWMSY (ntgo).
So I guess I find it curious that on a nice Saturday afternoon that while I am hanging with friends old and new at one of my favorite restaurants in the neighborhood, you couldn't just come over and say hi.
I mean, you are the goddamn waiter.
Now, I know maybe it wasn't your "section" or "someone else had taken the table", but as I sit outside drinking my pint size bloody mary watching you steal looks at me because I am wearing mysterious sunglasses, could you just put that ice bucket down and say hello? I'm right here. I could touch you. I mean, really.
Yes, yes it's me. You know you took a job in my neighborhood. Would it have killed you to at least pretend you recognize me?
Cuz I ain't coming to you.
Listen, I see no reason whatsoever that we can't be on friendly terms. We were good friends. I never told anyone that the only reason we never had actual intercourse is because you were on high levels of Prozac at the time due to your manic depression and couldn't get it up. No one! I kept that a secret, and I always will. It's between us.
Speaking of between us, there was about three feet between us as my friend walked me out of the restaurant and you busied yourself with napkins. Really?
I don't remember a particular falling out, GICIUTFAWMSY (ntgo), save for the one time you joked after not calling for a month that there was a list of people you call and I'm at the bottom of it (ha ha) to which I said, "Funny... I have a list of people I don't call and now you're on the top of it". Not funny?
Oh, well. So now I can either not go to that restaurant again :( or
, rather, make a point of going there every Saturday
. But... that's kind of weird. For now, I'll just continue to bask in the fact that I looked good that day.